I think now is the time you all discover a portion of my forgetfulness & inconsistency. It's been way too long since I've posted. However, I've been doing a ton of thinking & decided that this bit would maybe be of some help to people who feel as though life is sort of happening all around them, while you are sort of waiting for your next chapter.
Recently my wonderful older brother Matt moved in with me for a few short months to train, in hopes for a position on one of the teams (that I cannot pronounce & surely cannot spell) in Canada. It was a lovely blessing having him around. Getting to experience him in a different light, being able to get vulnerable with each other, and play a tiny part in the growth that we had the chance to experience together. Nonetheless, while he is training, every single day, I was not. In fact I felt as though he were preparing himself for something magnificent, and I was simply watching. I encountered this same feeling when my sister had no less that 500 stories to tell me about her incredible boyfriend (I am so happy for them, I promise!) and the many adventures she went on with her friends, so basically in my mind I am comparing her life to the absence of mine.
To me, I sought for justification. In this case, it was that my situation was different. In all its entirety, it sure is. I'm not surrounded by people who are on the same mission as I am, I don't find many people with the same interests nor general mindset as mine, nor do I live in regulated community. In my mind, living by myself and not having the accessible opportunity to create genuine bonds with the people around me due to my one hour commute to school, was enough for me to justify in my mind the fact that I was in fact watching my life pass me by. Not only that, but envying those around me whose lives seemed to be headed towards something lovely.
I sat, complained, even pleaded with the Lord to set up some type of upcoming event that I would be able to look forward to, simply to erase this feeling of complacency and dissatisfaction. It wasn't until I listened to these sermons that my dad had sent me. One by Creflo Dollar, called 'The Solution for Singleness' & another series titled 'A Satisfied Woman' by T.D. Jakes. Judging by the titles, I'm sure you've already picked up on the fact that my father is probably very content with the fact that I am the only one in my family without a significant other. He's got these tapes, books and podcasts on speed delivery!
As I sat there and listened to these tapes, I recognized something vitally important. Something that I had already known, yet had forgotten. No matter what stage in life I may be in, weather I am 20 years old waiting for the next big thing, or 90 years old. I am on this earth for a purpose. Waking up and feeling as though everything around me is happening for others, during the time I thought it would be happening for myself is no reason to settle into a state of discouragement. The minute I do this, I take things out of the Lord's hands. Little by little, I needed to find my purpose again. Find motivation, discipline and drive, to become closer and closer to the things the Lord has in store for me. We are always preparing. No matter where our current stage in life may be, we need to remain in preparation mode. Sitting around my house wondering and waiting is no longer an option. I believe whole heartedly that the Lord has wonderful things in store for those who love Him and desire to do His will.
So. It's been a rough and dry couple of weeks, but due to prayer and a little motivation from the Word, I've become much more aware of the duties that I have as a young woman. It's a fight to find motivation and inspiration. Things can get mundane and your mind can easily wonder to a place of discouragement and dissatisfaction. I'm telling you, don't let it! You have full authority over your thoughts and what you choose to dwell them on. The more you sit and watch things happen around you, the harder it will become for you to stand up and start running with it. Change up your routine! Go for a walk and admire the beautiful creation around you instead of reading inside at your kitchen table. Worship the Lord with some music while you clean the house and sing your little heart out. Grab some coffee with a friend and fellowship. There are so many other options rather than sticking to your routine lifestyle. Find that inspiration that will begin successfully preparing you for the things ahead, and that will quickly begin taking your spiritual life to the next level. Go get em'!
"As for you brothers, do not grow weary in doing good." 2 Thessalonians 3:13
