He'll Always Show Up

After constantly "blog stalking" my mother & sister, I decided to create one! Most of my computer time is spent on Pinterest, Facebook & random cutesy blogs, so inevitably I became obsessed. Spending this school year at the Kanakuk Link Year has definitely given me more than enough to talk about, and I can already tell my family has had enough... So why not! I've been home for about 3 weeks & have a couple more days until I head on back to good ol' Branson, Missouri. Having been home has honestly been incredible. Being able to spend time with my family (including my precious, baby niece Brooklynne) & finding countless ways to serve & learn, has definitely been the highlight of this break. I have found that what Link Year does best, at least for me... is bring out all of those hidden issues & insecurities you never even knew you had. For about the last month I had spent in Branson, I constantly found myself fearfully thinking "what in the world are my plans for next year..." I would sit (most likely looking unconscious) trying to come up with all these plans in my mind as to what the Lord would possibly have me do this upcoming Fall. I mean, I say over and over in my prayers "Lord, I only want what you want." But do I really mean that? It has been an ongoing struggle for me to stop trying to "fool God." Who am I kidding... right? I just have this terrible philosophy of proclaiming the Lords will over my future, all the while on the inside, my mind & stomach is spinning in doubt & fear. Well praise be to God, one day it came to me. How did I even get to Link Year in the first place? Everybody and their dog knew that my plan. I was to go to the AVEDA Cosmetology School in Minneapolis, have my own apartment, and soon after that, open up my own salon. Now that I look back on it, that plan was not of the Lord. Me and my cleverness thought that one up, and I so badly wanted it to happen that once I heard of Link Year from the director, I shut that thought straight down. I knew full well, that Link year was absolutely perfect for me, I just didn't want to believe it. I constantly told my parents I would continue to pray about it, when I had already received my answer the minute the idea was proposed. I remember dramatically looking at myself in the bathroom mirror, and crying my eyes out because I so badly didn't want to let go of the plan I had created in my head. All this to say, look where I am now. I had reached a point where what I was going to do was no longer a question... I had taken the next step, out of fear, and took matters into my own hands. Needless to say, at the last minute the Lord showed up. Weather I had wanted Him to at the moment or not, He sure did. So whenever we catch ourselves in states of worry or doubt, don't underestimate the Lord and His timing, even if it seems later than what we have already distinguished as the dead line. Remember the promise He has made in Hebrews 13:5, know that we will never be forsaken & pray victory over that fear! His plan will always prevail.