Stop, Drop & Lay

I apologize in advanced if this post is in any way difficult to follow! It took a while for me to gather all of my thoughts and emotions to create a blog post. However, here we go! This past week I was able to prep my house for an overflow of company, interview for, and luckily land a job as well as finishing my last semester of school for this year. God is good. As this lovely family and fun filled weekend comes to a close, I've definitely gotten the opportunity to recognize a few things. It's always great for me to see what things I need to work on. Living by myself, I get plenty of time to see what I love to do, what I don't love to do, my strengths, weaknesses and struggles. When you're by yourself, you'll always end up doing what you want to do. You'll listen to what you want to listen to, watch what you desire to watch, you get a little bit of time to figure out who you are in the company of only yourself. Over this past year, I've gotten to learn a bit about me. One of the things I've gotten the opportunity to learn was how important intentional time with the Lord is rather than simply, "time." 

As exciting and wonderful as it always is to have family here, I definitely recognized how easily stressed out and overwhelmed I became due to the comfortability of being on my own for so long. There are not many things I love more than getting to host a bunch of family. However, it was so easy for me to fall back into a little "funk."I quickly realized how little I had been in the Word in the midst of my busy week and how quickly and easily it affected my attitude, mindset and heart. Instead of my focus remaining on Him, I could see myself more and more being dragged into a focus of comparison, stress and frustration. 

It was the morning that my sister had driven to Einstein Bagels, only to realize that she had forgotten the money at home. Therefore she called, and as I grudgingly drove to hand over her wallet, the Lord immediately convicted me of my attitude. Not only in that moment, but throughout the entire weekend. Things such as my quick temper, lack of patience and selfishness had come to mind, and I very clearly felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to pull myself together. He had then graciously planted a lovely idea into my mind. On my way back from Einsteins, I was desperate to stop and spend any amount of time with Him that I could. I had come to the end of my rope, and needed to do something about it. Thankfully, the absolutely beautiful lookout over the lake right across from my house, was finally put to good use. I parked my car and put on some good worship music and sat in silence, asking the Lord to forgive my neglect towards Him, and my heart towards other things. It was the biggest breath of fresh air. 

In my relationship with Him, there is a huge difference between time with Him, and intentional time with Him. The standard and mundane routine runs it's course after a while, and I very quickly feel myself becoming spiritually thirsty for something more. Sometimes, something different. My divine intervention with the Lord that morning allowed me to realize something very important. Something that I need to remind myself of daily. The fact that I so desperately and more than anything else, need the Lord. In every way, during every single minute of my day, no matter what. The no matter what part it sort of the most difficult to really carry out, though it is very possible. I felt as though because things were going alright, I could put Him in the back seat. Little did I know that what was left as a result of that, was a bad attitude and an unwilling spirit.

Learning to become more and more disciplined with my intentional time with the Lord with all of the time that I have, has been such a wonderful experience, as well as a learning struggle. It breaks my heart to think how easily I can put my relationship with him in the back seat. Even unknowingly sometimes! However, I am loving every bit of revelation and growth that I get to experience on this journey to figuring it out. All in all, this weekend was obviously incredible. The joy and love that resinates in the room while family is here is absolutely undeniable. I just cant express to you how crucial it is for us to never let satan carry out his plans, which always include pulling us away in spirit from the peace that we experience when our minds are fully focused on Him. Don't be afraid to lie in His presence alone. To drive by yourself to that beautiful look out and just vent to Him, to sit on the swinging chair on the porch and talk with Him, or simply get in the shower and sing to Him. Don't allow your fear, laziness or stress get in the way of that. He is listening and He is in love with you. Every little ounce of intentional time that you set apart, every spontaneous moment that belong to glorifying Him, He absolutely adores. 

As much as it is a blessing and a joy to sit at the feet of God, it is also a necessity- our daily bread. We cannot extend joy if we do not have it. We cannot extend peace, nor love, nor patience, nor any good thing, if we have not been supplying it and receiving it from the one who freely gives it. Do not be hesitant to stop, drop and lay at His feet. It's absolutely a win, win. As for me? I'll be cleaning up the remains as a result of the Singletary clan crashing at my place. It's time to rejuvenate and of course as I've been mentioning, get a much needed and lovely fix of my Lord to end a start the week. If your lack of patience, your confusion, fear, anxiety, stress and frustration seem to be creeping on in, simply remember to run to Him. The one who comforts, gives rest, the one who can be trusted, who loves you more than you will ever understand, and the one who absolutely adores spending time with the raw, broken and weary you. Stop letting whatever it is get in the way, and begin or continue chasing after what your mind, body and spirit need the most.