Before I explain, let me give you a couple of referenaces that may be able to help you understand as to why the approval of man is completely wrong. Galations 1:10 "Am I now trying to win the approval of man or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." This verse is a difficult one to really grasp and take in. It's sort of like trying to worship two Gods. You just can't! It isn't possible. If you are trying to win the approval of man, then there is no way you are trying to please God as well. It's humanly impossible. However, why must we not desire the approval of man? Because like the Word touches on multiple times, such as in Matthew 10:28 it says "Do not fear those who can kill the body but cannot kill the soul, but rather fear the one who can destroy both body and soul in hell." This sounds a little harsh, but either way my point is that what can mere man do?! We desire so badly to please the very people whose opinion matters none! When we find our security and our confidence in other people, we will fail. Desiring to please people will take such a toll on the way that you act, think, dress, talk, practically live! It is such a trap and it simply deteriorates us.
When we are under the approval of man, we are being run by them. They are in control in essence of what we so "choose" to do. No longer are we under the control of the Lord, but we allow our lives to be in control of those around us, whose opinions at the end of the day mean absolutely nothing. It is one of the hardest things for me to do in all honestly. I am viewed strongly by many people as someone who doesn't mind what people think about me, and in all honesty at times the Lord grants me that strength but in other times like lately, that couldn't be further from the truth. For example, having 5 girls in the family is a PARTY to say the least. However at the same time, along with that comes much comparing, jealously and judgment. I allow myself to get into my head, and as a result end up stressing myself out rather than simply enjoying my siblings company. So many times I find myself trying to prove something to them. You would think that because of the fact that they're family, that you wouldn't have to prove a thing, but instead family is probably the hardest place to start. They know you. They know your triggers, weaknesses, failures, your rawness, they know it all. To try to prove to your family something different than what they have seen for the majority of your life is one of the most difficult things to do, as well as a waste of time. Yes. A complete and total, not to mention foolish waste of time.
I can sometimes catch myself wanting so badly to paint a picture of myself containing no faults, no mess-ups, no areas of failure or uncertainty, just perfection. When I do this, I completely take away my sole purpose for surviving on this earth, and that is to extend His kingdom. When I indulge myself on pleasing the people around me, I am drawing no one to Christ, but to myself. In turn, I become so weary for absolutely no reason. I exhaust myself, and only end up feeling terrible about me as a person. My body, my talents, my skin, my style, my intelligence, and not just to my family but to all. Feeling as though you need to talk or at a certain way for a young man to even give you a second look, to have to over-spiritualize something to gain a certain amount of respect from a friend, to focus hours on what you're planning to wear the next day to prove to Lord knows who, that you know what you're doing when it comes to style. Everything becomes so self centered when we focus so much on what others around us are thinking.
As believers, we need to get to a point where we stop worrying about what he or she thinks, but solely what the Lord thinks. We need to train and transform our minds to be only focused on what God thinks about us, about our hearts, to forget about proving something to everyone else, to let go of the way you feel you are perceived, and let the Lord begin to do a work in your life to the point where it becomes inevitable that something about you is different, and in turn bring glory to HIM instead of ourselves. If we do this thing biblically, it all makes perfect sense. If we are focused on what the Lord thinks of us, we then begin to know our worth. We don't have to prove anything to anyone because we become so secure in Him and what He thinks of us, how worthy we are and pleasing we are to Him, that we are finally able to release any insecurity dealing with our piers and what they may have to say. Because at the end of the day, none of that matters.
None of what other people think about you is important. The Lord will begin to change you, which in turn will change other people's minds and perceptions of you. Let Him do the work because He can handle it. There is no way we're able to keep up with reaching all of these different people's expectations. We're going to mess up! We're going to fail, and instead of stressing yourself out about what he or she thinks, begin to train your mind to forget about what everyone thinks, and focus on serving, trusting and pleasing the only one who's opinion matters. You are so capable! I'm not saying it's an easy thing to do, and if you struggle with people pleasing like I did for many years, and time to time still do, it's no easy fix. However, the Lord desires nothing more than you. Your efforts and your best. No one else deserves that. I promise if you begin to put down the fear of man and work on your fear of God, then the change that you wouldn't have ever been able to do in your own power and efforts alone, will begin to take place. Let's do this!
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