The day I made the decision to open my heart to fully understanding His grace, was when my mother told me that I had a difficult time with in doing so. I really wasn't aware, but hearing her explain sort of the way in which my heart was working at the time, it all made sense. I was so legalistic, and with that comes a little bit of a judgmental spirit. I felt condemned, therefore I condemned. I couldn't receive the grace that the Lord was freely handing me, so there was nothing keeping me from coming down on others for their "ungodly" ways. I always felt distant from Him, and I was living in a constant state of shame, guilt and fear.
Then, it dawned on me. Not instantly, but day after day it continues to. Who am I? Who are we? Where is the grace? I had a friend recently who decided to open up to me about something that she did, that she was clearly not proud of. In my mind, my first (and sinful) initial thought was filled with judgment. I didn't say anything, but for a quick moment I had thoughts running through my mind that contained no encouragement and more importantly, no grace. The more we talked, the more my heart broke. She expressed to me how she felt as though she couldn't tell anyone. Only a couple of people knew- even some of the people who were so close to her had no idea.
To me, that was sad. This is sad. Like I said, who are we? If we are the people that ones who have messed up cannot come openly to, if we are the ones with judgment eyes and judgment hearts, we must repent. His grace is the only thing keeping us alive. All in all, we are all so unworthy. We are dirty and in so much need of our Savior. There is no reason why one (saved or not) shouldn't be able to come to another. Shamelessly, openly and broken. If we are striving to be like Christ, condemnation is the furthest thing from Him. We as the body of Christ, need to begin accepting, loving, encouraging and forgiving. We need to put away the judgmental thoughts and words, and get back to the basics. WWJD? The answer to that question can be found throughout the beautifully God breathed pages of scripture. Every single one of them. The answer to that question is the answer to the lack of genuine, vulnerable and Christ guided/centered community today.
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