Wait, Where is Everybody?

So. For a little update on the life of a broke, lonely college student, I've decided to fill you in with a rather informative yet encouraging post. I have to say that coming to Chicago has been one of the most exciting decisions that the Lord has brought me to... for many different reasons. One being that my younger sister Brooke is attending Wheaton. We never really had the strongest relationship due to past issues, but instead of dealing with them, we brushed them aside and they began to pile up. Soon enough, we were literally walking on egg shells to not get into a disagreement with each other. Long story short, one of the reasons I know the Lord wanted me here was so that I could grow in my relationship with her, because for some reason (that I remain unaware of) it is an important one, and boy has the Lord been at work. She has become if not, one of my best friends. Anther reason I feel like the Lord brought me here is to be at my oldest sister Kristen's expense. I want to be willing to help and be there for her whenever she may need. That may or may not have anything to do with the fact that I also want myself to be Brooklynne's favorite Auntie! Just kidding, but really. Having little birdie around makes it all the more enjoyable. And lastly, my most... Non favorite reason as to why I am here, but favorite (you'll understand momentarily) is the fact that the Lord had told me a while before coming here, that I would be "alone". Now at the time I had no idea what this meant. Would I live alone, not know anyone or have friends, would I just be loneLY, never in the world was I expecting it to be all of the above! Although because He had informed me ahead of time, I was slightly prepared which I praise the Lord for often. Even still, I had no idea it was going to be like this. There is not one person that I know nor am friends with, within almost an hour from me. At school, let's just say I better be a bearer of light, cause I feel as though there is not one sane person NOT trying to get me high or take me out. You know, cause I'm "not living". But aside from all that, I sit here in my little ADORABLE town house, wishing I had my sisters, or my mother, even my father to sit and simply talk with me. Looking forward to any possible moment that I can be surrounded by community, family, friends... just people. Though recently with the Lords help, I came to a conclusion. It took many conversations and realizations to get to this point, but one thing I realized was that the amount of comfort that I desired to find in people, was unhealthy. All of my life, I have found comfort in people... either going through the same thing, having gone through it before, even simple advice that I already contained in my mind, hearing it from someone else seemed to validate it. If something went wrong, if I was feeling bad about something, if I was hurt, scared, frustrated, I went to people whom I desired comfort from. People who I knew cared about me, and had my best interest at heart. After a little revelation and a lot of prayer, the Lord began to uncover the fact that me not going to Him for comfort was a problem. It was something that I hadn't really realized. I sat and thought to myself, why would I not go to Him for comfort. He created it, He is the God of comfort, He loves me more than anything and cares for me more than I could ever fathom, so why on earth would I not go to Him to "feel better" and my answer appeared instantly. All of us want instant gratification. Satisfaction in that very moment. I began to think of every time I asked the Lord to take a stomach ache away, give me peace, heal my nana, mend a relationship, how the prayers either seemed unanswered, even unheard. So instead of going to the Father of all these things, I went to people. I called my best friend, my mother, my father. Well after listening to a sermon that I feel was directed right at me, the Lord began to show me that He was removing these crutches that stopped me from going to Him. Not just for comfort, but for everything! He cares for us. I always fail to remember that He knows what is best for us. He loves me more than anything, and He is going to give me His best. He is the first one I need to be going to if I am in any need of comfort. His yolk is easy and His burden is light. Instead of going to people to feed my hunger for instant satisfaction, I know that it's time to go to the Lord, simply because I trust Him. Because He has shown me that He is a jealous God and He will do whatever it takes for His child to come to Him. To yearn for Him. Weather it be to send my other half to Toledo, OH, having my busy, hard working parents live 6 hours away, sending one of my best friends to stinkin' Costa Rica (with no phone), and have me all lonesome in this amazing blessing of a home, He will do whatever it takes so that I, His daughter whom He is absolutely infatuated with can find comfort, confidence and reassurance going to Him. Don't get me wrong, having accountability, friends and family to comfort you in troubled times is amazing. We are called to lift each other up, to take each others burdens, but when He is no where in the mix of people we are going to, and far from the first? It will shortly become a problem. So all in all, being "lonely" isn't so bad. After all, it isn't so lonely the more and more I choose to become rooted in the Word. Instead of sulking, I take the time granted to me to really get to know the indescribable character of the Lord. To trust in Him and to remember that He has my best interest at heart. Also to remember and keep in mind, that sometimes instant satisfaction is the opposite of what we really need.