How Much Longer?

I used to be the person who was able to sleep until noon- no problem. Over the past year and most especially in the last several months, I cannot seem to sleep in past 7:30 or 8:00. I can't say I'm hating it! That being said, I woke up this morning around 7:30 for good. So I grabbed my computer, a cup of coffee to get my brain started, and began typing! As a result, here is something that's been on my heart for a little while.

Lately, I've been in conversation with young women whose sole desire is to be married. It's their goal, their heart, their focus and one desire. I begin to feel as though they believe that every problem will simply vanish the moment they say "I do." I wish I couldn't relate to this, but for an amount of time, I could totally wrap my head around this. Having four sisters is seriously a dream! It's like the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants on steroids. Meeting all different types of "significant others" along the way was not my favorite, (my family says I'm the cruelest judge) but eventually they all lucked out. One thing that I was not expecting was for 3 out of 4 of them to be married (or right around the corner from it) at such a young age. Over time, I've simply realized that age matters very little when it comes to that special covenant with the Lord.

I was talking with my sister a couple days ago, when she brought up a traumatizing statistic. "There is a 60% divorce rate at Wheaton College" she said. I could not believe my ears. A very nice, small, Christian college had that high of a divorce rate? Reasons why began flooding my mind, but the one that stuck out the most was pressure. The pressure to be this perfect little desirable young lady who feels pressure to find a boyfriend who then feels pressure to make HIM feel pressured to feel pressured to propose, obviously there is pressure to get married, pressure to STAY perfect, with which comes the pressure to make it work- and it doesn't. Why are we so wrapped up in those around us?! Do we want to be a statistic or do we want a thriving, strong, unique relationship that stands as an example for those couples around us? It may take some more time, it may not. Either way, why must we be in a rush?

I was talking to my dad a few months ago. He asked me how I was feeling about everything regarding my younger sister who is about to be getting married. I don't think he was really prepared for my answer, but it started with "totally fine, I'm so happy for them" and somehow ended with "WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME?" I couldn't understand why everything around me was happening so fast with marriages, proposals, dating, there was this subconscious pressure that I felt. Is something wrong with me? Do I need to find someone and get married? What if I don't? Will I have to settle? Thankfully, shortly after my conversation with him, that pressure began to fade away. He told me to enjoy this time, to take things slow! He told me that this time is precious and that all I needed to do was focus on myself and the Lord, and He would take care of the rest. Hearing this- it was a breath of fresh air.

This world puts so much pressure on us in way too many areas. What to wear, what to eat, how to talk, what to buy, when to get married, when to have sex- we can't buy into it anymore. We as individuals have too much to learn! We need to be taking this time to prepare for marriage while living the life that the Lord has set out for us. We can't sit around anymore waiting for our perfect spouse to come and rescue us- our lives are too precious. The idea that marriage solves everything and our lives begin after we walk down the aisle is a lie that satan has fed young people for too long. Before handpicking the perfect soulmate on your own, let the Lord do it for you. It will be so much more rewarding and simply easy! That's how it should be! It shouldn't consume your life, it should be enjoyable, natural and God glorifying. Slow and steady wins the race, and I believe this wholeheartedly. Don't be in such a rush because of whatever idea that you have about marriage. Marriage is simply a word. It's the work behind it that makes it such a beautiful thing.

So hold your horses, get to know who you are as a person before you decide to throw yourself into someone else's arms. Know your buttons, the things you need to work on, know your weaknesses, and grow your intimacy with the Lord! When two individuals are running towards the cross, it is inevitable that you will end up running along side of each other, both headed towards Christ. That is how you want it to happen! Take this time to prepare! Become the man or woman that the Lord has created you to be. He knows the desires of your heart, and will indeed fulfill those. So take your time, because the end result will by FAR exceed the wait.